10 First Date Mistakes Men Should Never Make

First dates can be exciting, nerve-wracking, and honestly… a little intimidating. You want to make a great impression, but sometimes nerves or bad habits get in the way. The truth is, most women don’t expect perfection—they just want a man who’s genuine, confident, and respectful.

Unfortunately, a lot of guys sabotage themselves by making simple, avoidable mistakes. Here’s a breakdown of the most common first-date slip-ups—and how you can steer clear of them.

1. Showing Up Looking Sloppy

First impressions matter, and your appearance speaks before you even say a word. Rocking wrinkled shirts, dirty sneakers, or messy hair tells her you didn’t bother to put in effort.

Fix it:

Stick to simple, clean, and well-fitted clothes. A crisp Uniqlo Oxford Shirt, dark jeans, and clean white Adidas Stan Smith sneakers is a safe combo.
Groom your beard (use Beardbrand Beard Oil for softness and shine).
A dab of Dior Sauvage Eau de Toilette goes a long way—but don’t drown in it.

Looking sharp doesn’t mean overdressing—it means looking like you actually cared.

2. Talking Only About Yourself

Nerves sometimes make men talk too much about themselves—job, hobbies, gym, even exes. Nothing kills attraction faster than making the date feel like a one-man podcast.

Fix it:

Follow the 80/20 rule—let her talk 80% of the time, and you 20%.
Ask open-ended questions like, “What do you usually do for fun on weekends?”
Practice active listening—repeat back parts of what she says to show you’re engaged.

3. Checking Your Phone

Few things scream “I’m not that into you” like scrolling Instagram mid-conversation. Even checking your phone for notifications breaks the vibe.

Fix it:

Put your phone on Do Not Disturb before the date.
Use a stylish watch like Seiko 5 Automatic instead of relying on your phone for time.

A man who gives his full attention stands out instantly.

4. Being Rude to Staff

The way you treat the waiter, valet, or bartender is a direct reflection of your character. If you’re dismissive or rude, she’s already imagining how you’ll treat her down the line.

Fix it:

Simple: Be polite. “Please” and “thank you” cost nothing.
Tip properly. Carry some cash in a Bellroy Slim Wallet for small gestures.

Kindness is attractive—don’t underestimate it.

5. Overdoing Alcohol

Having a drink or two can relax the nerves. But going overboard and getting sloppy drunk? Automatic red flag.

Fix it:

Stick to one or two drinks max.
If you’re unsure what to order, go classic: Old Fashioned or a gin and tonic—simple, stylish, and safe.
If you don’t drink, own it. Order a mocktail or sparkling water with lime—confidence is more attractive than trying to fit in.

6. Talking About Exes

Bringing up past relationships is one of the fastest ways to kill first-date chemistry. Whether you speak bitterly or nostalgically, it signals you’re not fully present.

Fix it:

If she asks, keep it short: “It didn’t work out, but I learned a lot.”
Shift back to the present—your goals, passions, or things you’re looking forward to.

7. Being Cheap (or Flashy)

Money mistakes go both ways—being overly cheap makes you look stingy, while flashing cash comes off insecure.

Fix it:

Pick a comfortable, mid-range spot. A cozy cocktail bar or a trendy coffee shop works better than a five-star restaurant on date one.
Pay confidently—don’t make it awkward. A smooth move is to use a Chase Sapphire Preferred card or similar classy card (it’s subtle, but women notice details).

8. Poor Body Language

Confidence isn’t just in your words—it’s in how you carry yourself. Slouching, avoiding eye contact, or crossing arms makes you look closed off.

Fix it:

Sit up straight, shoulders back.
Maintain eye contact (but don’t stare like a serial killer).
Smile—sounds basic, but a genuine smile breaks tension instantly.

If you need practice, try Amy Cuddy’s “power pose” trick before heading out—it actually helps boost confidence.

9. Rushing Physical Contact

Trying to hold hands, hug, or lean in too quickly can make her uncomfortable. Respect her space.

Fix it:

Watch her cues—if she leans in, touches your arm, or mirrors your movements, she’s comfortable.
A light touch on the elbow when guiding her through a doorway is classy and respectful.
End the night with a hug or kiss only if the vibe feels right.

10. Not Having a Plan

Asking “So, what do you want to do?” on the spot shows zero leadership. A man who plans—even something simple—feels confident and dependable.

Fix it:

Have a backup option in case the first spot is too crowded. (Google Maps + Yelp reviews are your best friend.)
Suggest something relaxed: “I know a great little wine bar near here. Want to check it out?”
Keep the plan flexible, but don’t show up clueless.

In The End

First dates are less about perfection and more about connection. Women aren’t grading you on every move—they just want to see the real you. Avoid the common mistakes—sloppy appearance, phone addiction, overdrinking, poor manners—and you’re already ahead of most men.

At the end of the day, the best hack is simple: be present, be respectful, and have fun. If you do that, chances are you’ll land a second date without even trying too hard.